A person is only what he is today because of everything his life went through. Every hour of his waking life affects him, no matter how significant. Sometimes, these life events become core memories that shape their character. Something as simple as reading a nostalgic book about the the family’s ranch life or maybe as grand as attending their first big arena concert, those memories will always be a part of an individual’s life.
It would be ideal if all memories are good memories. However, the world does not work that way. Like the concept of the yin and yang, the existence of a good memory also comes with it the existence of bad ones.
Bad Memories are Memories Too
It is hard to accept bad memories. Without fail, they will always lead to pain. However, to feel pain is normal. This ability to feel pain is proof that one is alive. Pain does not need to be feared avoided. Time will always be there to heal it. However, we must be mindful of how we deal with our pain. Doing so healthily allows us to move forward. The opposite is also true; wallowing in pain prevents us from ever growing.
Acknowledging the Pain
The first step in the healing process isusually lies in acknowledging the pain. Once done, the healing process can now begin. It may sound easy, but it is also as easy to deny that one is in pain. Care and special attention must be devoted in order for one’s emotional well-being to improve. Through this process, one can learn to see what was wrong in the first place, and then they can learn from our mistakes. Failing to do this otherwise could become an endless cycle of toxic behavior. Acknowledging the pain and accepting vulnerability is one of the bravest things any individual can do.
Create Distance If Possible
Once the pain has been acknowledged, it is time to begin the healing process. More often than not, this means having to physically and mentally avoid the things that were the cause of the said pain in the first place. This distance allows the mind to, in a way, breathe and relax. In turn, the mind will be able to process the pain and slowly begin to accept.
Distract the Mind
In correlation to creating distance, distracting the mind is also one way to process pain. Different folks process pain in different ways. Sometimes, creating distance is not enough. If the mind is left to its own devices, the pain that was supposed to be avoided may come creeping up, making the task of healing the Sisyphean. Allowing the mind to focus on different things and keeping it distracted may shorten the time for the mind to forgive itself.
Be Gentle with the Self
There are plenty of people whose first reaction to being in pain is to criticize themselves. They think that everything that happened is their fault, and they deserve all the blame. This is not healthy behavior, never was, never will. One must be able to say that the said painful experience was nobody’s fault at all. They must recognize that some things are just avoidable. Once they begin to consent to this thought process, they can begin seeing themselves in a much lighter view. In the end, it grants them a smoother opportunity for self-forgiveness.
Talk About it
There is an old saying that has held for as long as anyone can remember. “No man is an island,” So the saying goes. It rings true; from the shyest of introverts to the most outgoing of extroverts, anybody needs a faithful companion. Having a companion one can talk to would be liberating and is another step to processing the pain. A mind may be able to suffer as much stress as possible, but it does not mean that it can hold an infinite amount of pressure. Without talking out the stress that the pain brings, it would be easy for the person to self-destruct. That is why it is extremely imperative to talk things out. If not a friend, a psychiatrist, and there is no shame in going to a psychiatrist.
Once the end has been reached, the time to forgive the self begins. Make sure to take as much time needed., but not long enough to devolve into self-serving pity. Once forgiveness comes, next will be learning and, finally, moving forward.